rainy mind

i’m exhausted of pretending i don’t
feel the heavy weight of my existence
some people don’t even notice it and
i wish i were one of them but i could never
be one of them
i’m sorry if you’re wondering why
because so am i.

just for today,
i don’t wanna cheer myself up
i don’t wanna try and i don't
want you to
i just need to be right here, quietly
hearing the sound of my soul
it's like an open wound

see, i don’t really think
it will ever heal so please
stop throwing all this medication
over me

they keep saying i’m
strong
but i’m losing the fight -
i just want it to end soon

i wonder if they know how
wrong they are
i’m looking right at
the exit door
and although i can feel every
inch of me begging
for me to walk, i can’t
because everyone keeps
pushing me away
from it and i’m not brave enough
to tell them to stop.